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Author Topic: Thinking NZ with husband and kids  (Read 2703 times)

Offline Carmel

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Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« on: October 16, 2007, 09:18:32 am »
Hi there, anyone with kids out there will understand how difficult it is to raise children in a country like SA.  They are not free to be kids and play outdoors, walk to school.  Most kids are becoming playstation addicts and mall hangabouts.  Parents are okay with it because at least they are "safe".  Hence our plan to get out of this country to a place like NZ that can can offer us a better quality of life.  My kids are 12yr, 9yr and 3yr.  Anyone out there who has made this transition with kids - how did they cope with the huge change?

Offline Rhodan

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2007, 09:24:11 am »
Howzit and welcome Carmel !  :clap:
« Last Edit: October 16, 2007, 09:43:31 am by Rhodan »

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2007, 09:24:11 am »

Offline Amber

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2007, 09:37:34 am »
Hi Carmel And Welcome,
We are in the process of applying - not there yet.  We have 3 kiddies as well 12, 9 and 7!  From what I have heard the adjust quite easily.
Amber
Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe



Offline Carmel

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2007, 10:11:49 am »
Hi Amber,

We are also in the process.  What areas are you looking at?  Are you choosing area according to work, school etc.

Offline Amber

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2007, 10:36:07 am »
We are not to concerned with where we will stay - it will all be relevent to where we can get work. 
How far are you in the process?
Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe



Offline Feather

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2007, 10:41:53 am »
Hi Carmel and welcome  :clap:

I have two children, a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old.  They have handled the transition very well.  They naturally miss their grandparents, who we chat to every alternate weekend via SKYPE.  The eldest has started school and has settled well, the youngest is in pre-school 3 mornings a week and is loving it.
Some of the changes where hard on my elder son.  Leaving his friends from crèche behind, making new friends, then within 4 months moving on to Primary School and starting all over again. 
The children are happy and have adjusted to life in NZ far better than I thought they would.

We are in Dunedin, due to work.



Offline Carmel

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2007, 11:31:25 am »
Hi Amber,

We've just started - in the very early stages.... we're planning a trip early next year to get a feel of things.  We already qualify but hubby will feel a lot better if he had a job offer.....(for peace of mind).  How far are you

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2007, 11:31:25 am »

Offline Cameleon

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2007, 04:52:55 pm »
Hi Carmel, Welcome to the family  :clap:
We're not there yet. Also have 3 kids: 13, 11 and 10 years. From what I heard from other parents that made the move, the kids adjust well.
 :gl: with the whole process!!



Offline mikencarmen

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2007, 07:05:08 pm »
Hi Carmel, Welcome and  :gl:

We have 2 kids 15 (son) and 17 (daughter)...at first the idea was not taken very well, leaving  friends behind, and grandparents etc, so we just introduced then to different NZ sites, bought then each a book on "Things to do in NZ" and now they are very exited, L does her matric next year, and hopefully will be doing her studying in NZ, J will finish his schooling in NZ, L regularly says she wishes we could go sooner.....not sure what will happen when we get there....but we will cross that bridge later....

C


Offline Carmel

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2007, 08:18:30 pm »
It's very reassuring to hear about your families with kids especially older ones that have coped well with relocating.  Keeping on the subject of kids - how do the state funded schools in NZ compare to SA private school education? 

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2007, 11:04:55 pm »
Carmel, firstly hi and welcome!

Each family is different, and each child is different.  The older kids find it more difficult to transition than the little ones.  Your 12 and 9 year olds may find it harder because they understand more, and will be leaving friends and family behind.  But the freedom here may well be enough to make it up to them.  Make sure they have a way of keeping contact with their close friends.

My kids are 6 & 8.  My 8 yr old son is the sensitive one.  Admittedly, he never knew life in SA, so he doesn't know the hardships.  We spent 9 years in America, and so that is the life he knows, and for him the transition has been very difficult, also because he has a slight speech delay.  He really is finding the transition very hard.  My daughter on the other hand, is my little happy-go-lucky one, and seems to have adjusted quite well, although she too, misses her one little friend in Texas very much. 

It's hard sometimes to know just what is going on with them as they don't always understand their own moods.  The important thing is stick close as a family and keep the comms lines open.  Let them know it's ok to miss their friends, and even cry.  My son and I have cried together about missing our life back in the USA.  But then we start looking forward to the good things here.  I think all will be better once our container arrives and he gets his bike again!
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

Offline ks11

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2007, 11:48:45 pm »
Hi Carmel,
I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and im practically doing this on my own. Hubby still in SA.  My son (5) started big school and he loves it settled in very well my daughter is also settling in fine.  If i ask them if they want to go back to SA they say no! Get a bottle of the Rescue Remedy tablets (cant find tabs here) for the first couple of days for the little one and of course it works for everybody else too just to help with the time adjustment and to help with the stress.  After playing on the beach and having picnics and your elder ones being allowed out of the garden without armed guards things will be a change for the better. We all miss our family and setting up skype or yahoo or whatever to be able to talk them is a priority.  I have a picture of my family as a desktop background so my kids can always see granny.

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2007, 11:48:45 pm »

Offline dance

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2007, 04:52:09 am »
Hi Carmel and welcome. I am only going with a 16 yr old so cannot really help your question. What we have found is that after initial reluctance she is coming round to the idea. I think that keeping her involved all the time has helped. we gave her the prospectus of the school we hope to put her into pointed out websites of places and things to do and she is now excited about going. Missing friends and family is always going to be a problem no matter what the age. Good luck with your plans.
When life throws you a lemon - make lemonade!

Offline Eileen

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2007, 06:21:39 am »
Hi Carmel,

I have 2 boys, 4 and 6 yrs old.  :smitten: They are both doing fine. As the others have said, miss their family, but is also getting used to that. They really enjoy the freedom they have here. In SA we guarded them like hawks. Here they can run around and play in the parks. I don't stress if I look up and don't see them that very second.



Badprop

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Re: Thinking NZ with husband and kids
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2007, 06:30:50 am »
Hi Carmel my girl is 7 and boy 3.  My girl is the sensitive one and we thought the one that would take it the hardest.  We underestimated her.  When we landed on holiday, she made sure the hotel door was bolted and slowly we made her aware of the freedom she will have.  She was more aware of safety than I realised first and the things we don't alow her to do for instance haning her hand out the cars window or playing in the garden.

To cut a long story short.  She can't wait for us to go back.  She says she will miss her cousins and friends but she is more than ready for the move.

My point, kids aren't stupid but they grow up not knowing any better.  Show them the difference and have a positive attitude.