hello from Durban

[janetb]

Hi there everyone

My husband and I have decided to emigrate to NZ. We have been talking about it for some time now (years) but its only now since we are thinking about the future of our son (18 months) that we have seriously decided to go ahead with it.

We have weighed up all the pros and cons and agree that the only thing we will miss is our family. They have not reacted well to the news. The only way we have been able to keep the peace is to assure them that we are going to NZ to 'have a look around' (ie on holiday) and will be keeping our house in SA 'so we have someplace to come back to'. 

My DH has been to a migration seminar and the process looks so long and exhausting, not to mention expensive. We have been doing some research to see if we are able to manage the process ourselves. There is just so much advice its hard to know where to start. Is going to NZ on holiday and maybe finding work while there 'dishonest'? At this point what other choice do we realistically have? Is it worth the risk?

I would really like to hear from SAfricans who have already made the move to NZ. Has it been worth it? Would you ever come back?

Thanx for listening... its all a bit nervewracking to me
(I apologise for my spelling - never was good at that in school)

[tandl]

Hi Janet, and welcome.

Family reacts in strange ways, we have all found that out the hard way! But the process is definitely possible and you can always ask on the forum if you have questions!

Good luck!!

[kim12345]

hi janet,
  with everything - sure u guys r making the right decision!!  do a bit of reading on here and u will see its not that difficult  and everyone here is very suportive

[Nolan]

Welcome to the family Janet

All your questions have already been answered, go get yourself a bit mug of coffee and then start at the MyMove section of the site, then read the forum. It takes a while to get your head around the process, but worth it in the end

[jafa77]

Yes, IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A million zillion times over again.

Come back? ARE YOU JOKING? I dont even want to come on holiday!

Please dont let family hold you back. I know so many people stuck in SA, living in fear, no future for their kids etc because family dont want them to leave. Its painful but you have to do it!! You will not regret it. Its a huge decision but when you are here, settled with a home and jobs and money rolling in, you wont look back. Get out of hellhole SA as soon as you possibly can.

[dance]

Hi and welcome. Yes you are doing the right thing.  Having non suportive family makes the decision more difficult but you now have to think of your own family i.e. your child. What future is there for him. After a few years I can guarentee that the same famly that is now holding you back by playing with your emotions will wonder why they did not do the same thingwhen given the opportunity. Please pop in here when things get a bit much. We have all been through the same emotinos that you are now going thruogh so really do understand and can offer support.

[Gerhardvdb1]

Hi Janet

Welcome and 
You will get all the advice and support that you need from this forum.

[hadenough]

  with the process Janet, and welcome to this happy, sometimes stressed family.  We are all here for each other when the going gets tough and any questions you have will be answered in no time.  Don't forget to use the bookmark facility when you find something that you know you will need to go back to. BELIEVE me, it saves a lot of searching! 

[Rahenn18]

Hi Janet

We in the process of moving to NZ at the moment,in fact,we had Pickfords pick up all out stuff today,so thats how close we are to getting there now...Yes, it is the most daunting thing on earth but our decision to move was based on the safety of our 7 month old and ourselves and further more a better quality of life in a country that actually knows what they doing for their citizens.SA is really not the place for family life anymore and that should make your decision so much easier.Family need to realise that this is not about them anymore,yes they will be dear to your hearts but they being selfish to want  to stifle your need and want to grow as individuals and as a family...remember your hubby and kids are your family now.I dont want to bring up my daughter to be raped and killed one day for a silly cellphone,which so often is the case,please make your family understand this.Between DH and I,our families are huge,we Indian...so you have to imagine how huge...  and yes,they too were very upset and currently very depressed about us moving,but we made them understand that this is a better life for us as a family and we will make this a success.I think if it was just the 2 of us leaving it would have been so much easier for them to deal with but its our little one who has wiggled her way into everyones heart,thats killing them.They will deal with it as your move progresses,trust me!They also at some point start believing that you doing this for the right reasons,even if they just pretending to be happy for you!!You also need to be strong and not allow any negativity cloud your decision..cos this move is very stressful in itself and thats the last thing you need. with the move and be strong,you guys are doing the right thing.This website is the best thing...its restores your sanity....trust me its working for us!!!

Deshnee Naidoo

[Rahenn18]

Janet,where in Durbs are you from...we here as well????Can chat if you close by,before we leave!!!!

Deshnee

[SaKiwiBoer]

Hi Janet, I agree with what everybody has contributed so far. Plus, let me give you a little back ground.
My wife have a cousin that came over to NZ +- 3 years ago. We were not close to them and only found out at a "family reunion"that they are desserting SA. Now this cousin is 1 of 7 kids. They were a close family. Saw each other every weekend. 6 of the 7 kids stayed in the same town as the parents. He was 1 of the 6. I went to this guy and spoke to him and to find out what made him tick. I still said to him, 3 years ago remember, that I think he is making a mistake and that it was my 2c worth. Today we are in NZ 7 months already and I had to go back to SA in January to bury my mother. I was in SA for 11 days and that was the last 11 days I will most probably have been in SA, if I can have anything to do with my future. What I'm trying to say to you is that no matter what your family tell you, they might also change their minds and then join you. Nothing is impossible. You DH and you kiddy is YOUR family. You guys are responsible for that kiddy and not the rest of your family. If you think this is the right thing for you to do for your kiddy and hubby, then guess what, it is the right thing to do. And finish. Cut all distractions off and do what you have to do. There are many   people on this site. We all learn from each others experiences and apply to our circumstances what we need. I hope you understand what we are trying to tell you.   with your plans. But, do it as quick as possible. The longer it takes, the more difficult I feel it becomes. Cheers,   SAKB.

[Shirls]

It would appear NZ is going to become the new Durban!!!

We are in NZ and so far loving it. The peace, security and the fact that everything works makes it so much easier to think we will not be going back to SA. We try not knock the country - or whats left of it, Kiwis don't really understand what its like to live under siege.

My family in-law were not at all happy when we annouced that we were coming over on holiday here last year, and then when said we are moving we have a job later the same year... their faces dropped! I guess it was hard for them to see their son go.
But the day they dropped us at the airport to leave, amongst all the tears, my MIL said that they know we are doing the right thing, and that they are behind us 100%.
My mom is coming over at the end of the year - my sister is going to sponsor her; and we have made the same promise to OH's parents, that as soon as we can, we will sponsor them too.

Leaving the place you have called home is not easy. The first few days here will feel like its not really happening to you, and then it hits you... this it! I had serious downers last week, but feel a hell of a lot better this week.
Its not easy having to start new jobs, find new haunts and make new friends.

Go through this process with eyes wide open. Don't believe that it will be a sea cruise, its more like the roller coaster ride from hell! You will have major highs, and the deepest lows but when you are here, on this web site telling newbies and everyone how you are doing in NZ... damn its been worth it!

[Didi77]

I heared someone say that Whangarei is the Durban of NZ - I would have thought more Knysna...? anyway what I am trying to say is Hamilton is nice and wellington is ok. Auckland is good enough........ but Whangarei ROCKS!!!!

So come one guys and girls, move to Whangarei... please?

[SaKiwiBoer]

........ but Whangarei ROCKS!!!!   So come one guys and girls, move to Whangarei... please?

Nah, Roto Rocks, happy as a pig in Palestine in ROTORUA. Thanx, been to Whangarei, love my Smellorua, Frotorua, call it whatever you want, this place is the best. Cheers,  , SAKB.

[minette]

Janet, welcome and good luck. You've had great replies from all the others on this site and I agree with what they say, so I won't repeat the thoughts here again. I'm lucky in the fact that my family is very happy for us going. In fact, we've only had one set of people negative about our move from all our family and friends.

I'm very close to my family, and although hugs and kisses will be limited to mostly once a year, there is wonderful technology that makes it possible to keep up to date with all the goings on with everyone all the time -  even if they are halfway across the globe and in a different time zone.

We've also got an 18-month old girl and it was having her that re-ignited my hubbies quest for going overseas (before then I was not really interested to go over and dismissed all his pleas). But you suddenly think and feel on a totally different level when you have a little one to think of. It is very important to us though that we are not ONLY leaving to give her a better future, but for US to have a better future as well.

Our little family unit is making the move in July, so I'll keep you updated with how I find things through the whole process.