Author Topic: WAKE UP & SMELL THE COFFEE!!! (Read 1219 times)

Tash · « **on:** May 01, 2008, 04:11:56 AM »

I would like to point out to everyone looking at immigration here or anywhere for that fact ..... DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

We know of some people that have done the 'deed' only to get here & within a couple of days or weeks they wanna throw in the towel ... that's going arse about face!!! Not to be sexist or anything but it's usually the wives that are the ones to start all the trouble. I myself am a woman, wife, mother etc. & if you're not on the same page as your hubby then don't even bother lighting this fire!

So wake up & smell the coffee, if you're expecting something outta a Hollywood movie then you're sadly mistaken!!! This is life we're dealing with & it CAN be all you want it to be. Optimism is what it's about, NOT failure!!!

dance · « **Reply #1 on:** May 01, 2008, 04:20:14 AM »

Tash I totally agree with you. I have heard from many people that a move like this will either destroy or strengthen your marriage. Also do not forget that it takes at least a year before you can say you are settled. IMHO giving up in anything less than that is proof that your research has not been as thourough as you thought and you are not going into this with eyes wide open.

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum · « **Reply #1 on:** May 01, 2008, 04:20:14 AM »

jafa77 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 01, 2008, 05:14:31 AM »

good post. I do think too many people just move and have no clue what awaits them in this fair land. Life is tough.....and white Saffers (especially) have been very very spoilt until recently. The rest of the world will not treat you like you are special. You will be a small fish in a very big pond over here......it takes a mind shift, but if you are positive and call this place HOME then you will be ok......its the people who constantly refer to SA as "home" that I personally find the unhappiest. No offence to anyone.

Alta van zyl · « **Reply #3 on:** May 01, 2008, 11:22:30 AM »

Some people take longer to settle in nz and call it home, according to the

people it takes 1000 days ( about 3 years) on average to be 100% sure of their move. This is for all immigrants, not only from SA.

SaKiwiBoer · « **Reply #4 on:** May 01, 2008, 06:46:31 PM »

Quote from: Alta van zyl on May 01, 2008, 11:22:30 AM

Some people take longer to settle in nz and call it home, according to the people it takes 1000 days ( about 3 years) on average to be 100% sure of their move. This is for all immigrants, not only from SA.

Had a Kiwi ask me the other day if I am a Kiwi yet?? So I asked him what must I do to "become" a Kiwi and he laughed and said that's easy, just support the Blacks, so I laughed at him and said I supported them even before I "officially" got here and he had a chuckle and said to me: " No you are sorted mate, your a Kiwi."

But getting back to this post, I suppose it will take a while or 3 years then before you can call it home, but if you get here with the right mind set that is your new home, no matter what then it comes, I think, a lot quicker. We called NZ home fairly early after we landed because we know this is our new home and klaar. There is no going back. In any case, where/what do we go back to. We sold everything, we quite our jobs and left for NZ. This is home, finish. Cheriebaai,

, SAKB.

jafa77 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 01, 2008, 08:42:39 PM »

You have to support the All Blacks. Its criminal not to. Even if your heart is not in it at first, just try. Wear an AB shirt and get into the spirit.

I have at least 6 Saffer boys in one class and one boy still support the Springboks. He is constantly ripped off and teased by other boys (including the other ex-Saffer boys). He still talks of home. And says how great SA is. He gets this from his parents. Big mistake. The other Saffer boys have adapted and are Kiwis and love it here. Its all a mindset.

zatexnz · « **Reply #6 on:** May 01, 2008, 09:47:59 PM »

When we first left SA years ago, our friends had preceded us to the USA. They told us the following:
The first year, you love it, it's great, you're a "tourist on honeymoon"...
The second year, you hate it, you miss home, you wonder what got into you
The third year, you sift out what you don't like and what you do, and either make your peace and settle in for sure, or leave.

As Brad said, it's really a big mindset. But it did help us to know that there would still be times ahead when we'd miss our lives in SA. Just the feeling of belonging and not being an immigrant. And you know? After 9 years in the States, there were still times that I wished I didn't still sound like an "alien". I just never did pick up the accent, and still got asked "so where y'all from?". THere were small moments (and still are) that I wish I could still be living in SA where everything is familiar, but without the crime factor, etc. And I know that's impossible, so I wipe my tears, and straighten my shoulders, put a smile on my dial, and carry on.

Unlike many of our fellow Saffers who remain behind and accuse us of "desserting", immigration is not for cowards.

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum · « **Reply #6 on:** May 01, 2008, 09:47:59 PM »

Tash · « **Reply #7 on:** May 01, 2008, 10:25:49 PM »

I so agree with everyone & I'm glad that I posted this as I know quite a few people battling with their partners now & that certainly doesn't make this easier. Immigration deffinately isn't for cowards but some seem to think it's a game & their DH's are the ones having to slog it out with them or loose when the wife returns to SA with kids in tow ... what the?!? HOME is where you make it! Period!

We've also upped & sold & resigned & left ... we certainly don't wanna go back to crime & poverty & what else & raise our 2 little children with that to deal with everyday not even mentioning if we make it alive.

We're also only human & miss familliar people & places but since we've arrived my little girl of 4 hasn't asked once "is the alarm on mum or your phone is charged so we can call the police or daddy if someone comes to hurt us" ... this I might add she got from a puppet show @ kindergarden! That scared the hell outta me, that our little girl had to worry over that & it's not her battle to fight after all but if we'd stayed she might have had to.

I hope many more people read this & then decide if they're also 'desserting' or living?!

jafa77 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 01, 2008, 10:40:04 PM »

its awful that kids have to grow up like that, and think its normal.

jafa77 · « **Reply #9 on:** May 01, 2008, 10:42:39 PM »

SA without its problems would be an awesome place to live. But alas.....

hadenough · « **Reply #10 on:** May 02, 2008, 08:13:22 AM »

I agree with you Brad. It's is a GREAT country with major problems that I don't think will every be rectified

!!DV!! · « **Reply #11 on:** May 02, 2008, 09:05:40 AM »

It`s true that every place has it's problems, but is SA they as they are ignored, or the gauvamint tells you everything is okay.

Like the crime stats that they release every now and again, complete rubish

Some years back you knew someone, that knew someone ,that was a victim of a crime / Highjacking. Now days you know someone close to you that has fallen victim or your self.

Got a friend, that had his car stolen while was busy in the policestation, fixing their photocopier. He reported it and went back days later and asked for a letter for the insurance, he asked if they looked for it, the answer " No because we won't find it in any case"

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum · « **Reply #11 on:** May 02, 2008, 09:05:40 AM »

jafa77 · « **Reply #12 on:** May 02, 2008, 09:57:37 AM »

what a joke. A banana republic if I ever did see one.

why did we allow these people to take over?? its a real mystery to me.

minette · « **Reply #13 on:** May 02, 2008, 12:15:32 PM »

Found the following on the stages of immigration / culture shock and think it fits nicely with this thread:

http://www.travelwithyourkids.com/moving-abroad/culture-shock-stage-1-vacation
http://www.lossesintranslation.com/stages-of-immigration.php

minette · « **Reply #14 on:** May 02, 2008, 12:19:38 PM »

Another thing.... my hubby and I are definitely on the same page with regards to the moving. He came to me about four years ago and asked if I'd be interested in immigration, but I was just not ready to even think of it, so I never mentioned it again. December last year, probably subconciously because of everything going on in SA, I started thinking about immigrating again and did a bit of research on my own (that's where I found this site!) and only when I felt comfortable and even excited about it, did I go to my husband again and asked him if he'd still want to immigrate as he wanted to a few years ago. Since then we've been hectically busy sorting all out and will hopefully be there in August!

Problem though is that we know people where the story is not at all so rosy - the guy wants to go (really, really wants to go), but the wife is not at all positive about it. Intellectually she KNOWS it is probably for the better (although not touched by crime as yet), but emotionally there is a huge front of denial. Now what to do - stay in SA and the hubby is unhappy, or go to NZ and the wife is unhappy? It's a bit of a problem.....

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum