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Author Topic: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...  (Read 1552 times)

Offline alet

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Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« on: February 09, 2007, 10:14:39 pm »
Hi to all! 

Another stressed out individual looking for information on NZ immigration.  I have been doing research on the subject for quite some time now.  I changed careers late in life and still have 2 years of part-time study left before I will obtain my Information Science degree.  I'm a single mom (48) with 16yr old son doing his matric through Cambridge university (HIGCSE).  Fortunately the degree I'm working at, as well as my present occupation at a SA university, is on the NZ longterm skills shortage list.   We will be stuck in SA until Dec 2008, before I can start any type of process.  In the interim, I can at least get all the other papers ready (birth certificates & such). 

I have absolutely no idea how I am going to manage this transition in terms of finding a job first - being single.  No one to sell & pack up back home.  Insufficient funds to first do a job hunt and return to SA to pack up.  I am scared out of my wits just thinking about emigrating in such circumstances.  Everything will depend on me, as I am without the support a partner could offer. 

It won't be too long before my son heads out to start off his own life and career.  Don't know if I'll survive that type of isolation in a foreign country.  I would be 50 by the time we emigrate, if my application is successful.   My son wants to emigrate, as close family of ours are moving to Australia.  We would like to follow, but due to my age, we have to head for NZ first, of course.  I am more than prepared to make the move for my son - and also for myself - as I would like it even less to stay behind in SA.

Any expats out there who were in a similar situation & survived?    :-[
« Last Edit: February 09, 2007, 10:18:10 pm by alet »

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2007, 10:49:54 pm »
Hi Alet!  And Welcome!!!

Oh boy, it is rather a daunting thing to be considering emigration, let alone doing it as a single mom, BUT you've done great as a single mom already - that takes a strong woman, and so I believe you can do it!  You're studying for a new degree, and I being much younger than you, have a lot of respect for somebody going back to studying at this age.   All this tells me you really a strong person.  If your son is supporting you in this decision, it makes it a bit easier. 

One thing I can say is that NZ has a lot of South Africans, and there is a lot there that is familiar to our culture.  It is far more difficult to do that same change to a country like the USA, where the culture is VERY different to anything we know (that's where I am right now). 

As you say, you have at least enough time to get all the paperwork ready, and Nolan here has done a great job of putting this site together for us all to know exactly what we have to have handy! 

We're here to help each other and support each other!  So keep on posting, and we'll walk with you through it!
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2007, 10:49:54 pm »

Offline alet

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2007, 11:12:49 pm »
Thanks for your kind words, Colleen.  I'm hoping to find someone in a similar position who successfully emigrated - curious to know how they managed.  If there is one thing I don't feel up to, it is having to return to SA - jobless, homeless and all the rest.  I just have to do it right the first time.

As part of my 'research', I had an in-depth look at what exactly is going on with crime in this country.  www.dienuwesuidafrika.com provides factual information which has totally freaked me out.   :o   We have become so numb that we do not realise the full extent of what is going on here.  Looking at stats and sites such as the above, is a very rude awakening and a shock to the system.

I have so many mixed emotions right now, besides feeling the pressure to successfully complete my degree.   Can't help thinking that I'm too old for this!!

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2007, 11:34:51 pm »
I have another friend, who also happens to be "Alet" and is here in the States as a single mom, and her son just recently married.  I am not 100% sure when her husband passed away (whether is was State side, or back in SA).  I will email her, and see if she can give me more info on that, and whether she can give you some peace on your decision.
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2007, 12:04:47 am »
That site sure puts things in perspective!  I've said to my husband, that while in SA we were like frogs sitting in a pot of cold water slowly being heated up, and not realising we were being cooked.  It really is like that.  so many of our friends say, oh it's not that bad, it's just in some places... and then I read of another murder right in their own town!  When will it be my own friends?  I fear the day I hear that my own friends or family back there have had first hand experience of this crime.  I wish I could get all our friends out of there. 

Alet, I think you're doing the right thing.  And if nobody's done it before, you'll be the pioneer, and be able to help others in your situation later!
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

Offline Nolan

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2007, 07:42:27 am »
Hi Alet, welcome here

I echo what Colleen has said - you are much stronger than you think with everything you have survived already. Anybody who goes back to study has heaps of guts, doubt whether I would like to go through that again, yet we are going through emmigration no problem.

I am not sure if we have any members here is a similar situation, but we are working hard here to not just provide info on emmigration to NZ, but to help everybody form a support base of friends before arriving in NZ. It is important to have, or build up a circle of friends as soon as possible in NZ to help you through an emotional time.

Get your CV out there asap, you may just land a job while still in SA, that would sort most of your logistical problems. Get yourself a webcam so that you can do interviews from here.

In the meantime, we are here to help and support, you can do it.

Offline alet

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2007, 12:23:01 pm »
Thank you, Nolan.  You mention that I should start getting my CV out there.  As far as I could gather from the NZ immigration web site (& confirmed elsewhere too)  I would not have a snowball's hope without a degree in my field - IT/Comp/Info Science related - even WITH a job offer.  Do I understand that correctly? 

If all goes well, I should complete my degree Nov 2008.  I have been working in this field for the past eight years - I just have to add the qualification.

Are there any SA Kiwi members contributing to this forum who already made the move?

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2007, 12:23:01 pm »

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2007, 08:32:35 pm »
There are one or two, Alet.   HappyExpat is one of them. :)

Yip, I guess you're right that right now, it might be a problem without a qualification.  So work hard on that degree, and in the mean time get such things as unabridged birth certificates, etc. - the stuff you need that you can get ahead of time.   Get all letters of references from your jobs, in English.  And when you get your degree, request ahead of time that it be in English AND that the curriculum be in English - that will save you having to get it translated. 

Have you looked into the idea of perhaps going over on a student visa?  Would they acknowledge the subjects you've already passed as credits towards a degree there?  Perhaps if you're able to get a student visa, and complete your studies there, you may be able to get a job while studying even? 

Nothing's impossible.  You never know - you may even get a job offer with somebody that is prepared to take you based on your experience, and allow you complete your studies part time there?  One of the tips I read here, is that some of the better jobs are never even advertized on the regular sites, and if you check out a company and contact their HR directly, you may even land a job without the usual prerequisites.  Anything is worth a try!

And in the mean time, as Nolan says, we're here to build up a support base.  So hang out here and get to know us all, so that by the time you land there, you won't be so alone!  8)
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

Offline Nolan

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Re: Midlife crisis just got a new meaning...
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2007, 09:22:03 am »
I second what Colleen has said. One of our members, dance, was telling us that often employers are more concerned with, can you do the job, than with your qualifications.

You can also chat to chantel, she has moved over in Dec.

So a student visa may just be a good option for you.