Ek weet nie meer nie...???

[Awa]

Haai Sonia.  Net so maand voor ons vetrek het het ek soos jy gevoel.  Net so eweskielik het ek begin twyfel of ons die regte ding doen.   My hart het gese daar is geweld en misdaad oral so ons gaan nie ons toestand verbeter nie.  Ek wou nie heeltemal van voor af begin nie en ek wou nie my family agterlaat nie.  Ek het so in die son gesit (ek is mal oor die son) en het om my gekyk na die wonderlike berge en riviere wat Afrika is.   Dit het my baie gepla en ek het baie daaroor gedink.  Die ding was dat ons planne al te ver gevorder het teen daardie tyd.  My man en ek het op daardie stadium altwee al ons notisie by die werk gegee.  Ons het die meeste van ons goed al verkoop en die kaartjies was bespreek so daar was geen terug keer nie.  Toe gaan ek maar met die attitude dat ons sal sien wat gebeur wanneer ons hier in NZ aanland.  Wel, selfs met daardie onsekerheid waarmee ek gekom het kan ek jou nou se dat dit die beste ding is wat ons ooit kon doen.  Ek kan nou nie glo dat ek so onseker was nie.  Ek mis my familie vreeslik en het nog glad nie vriende gemaak nie wat moeilik is maar NZ is pragtig en die weer pla my nie regtig nie.  Die mense is vriendelik en ek kan park toe loop met my kinders sonder om bekommerd te wees.  Die skole is fantasties en jy hoef nie jouself in skuld te sit net om 'n goeie skool te bekostig nie.   Ek dink dit is heeltemal normaal om te voel soos jy voel want dis sekerlik een van die moeilikste dinge wat mens in jou lewe kan doen so wees maar net geduldig met jouself en probeer verstaan dat jy besig is om deur die normale stadiums van immigrasie te gaan.   Dit sal goed wees as julle kan LSD - ons het nie die finansies gehad om dit te doen nie - maar ek het geen 'regrets' nie behalwe dat ek wens ons het dit vroer gedoen. 

[Parra]

Brilliant post!!!

thanx

[soniag]

Dankie Jackie.  Ek waardeer dit so, want 'n mens dink regtig op die stadium wat jy deur dit gaan dat jy besig is om dit te verloor, en die ergste is dat dit jou so stadig bekruip, en dan skielik soos 'n namiddag donderstorm oor jou kop toesak!!

Groete, en ek is bly julle is nou so gelukkig in NZ.

[mandyh]

Stunning post Jackie.  Well done.

[ANTONK]

Thanks Jackie 

[Hopeful]

Hi there Soniag. I haven't been on this site for a while - very busy lately - and I've only seen your post now. Everyone talks about the roller-coaster ride of emigration and I suppose you've just experienced it in a big way. I must say, I feel like that a lot. Especially when I see my family and think of having to leave them behind - that's the only thing that's stopped me so far, but I suppose I have my own kids to think about now. Maybe an LSD trip is a good idea. Be sure before you decide, otherwise it just won't be worth it. If you do go and you don't like it, you can always come back though. It's not as final as you may think. But from what I've read on this site, it seems so nice over there. Crime also doesn't affect me on a daily basis really, although I've become so used to having "safe habits", that I don't even think about it anymore. Looking over my shoulder is just as normal as breathing to me and I suppose that's no way to live.

Just be sure Soniag. Be sure either way. You don't want to sit here in SA being miserable, wishing you had gone to NZ when you still could. At least if you go, you can come back (a bit poorer financially unfortunately, but a bit richer in experience) and you won't have any "what-ifs". At the end of the day, no-one can make the decision for you - it's all up to you - right or wrong. It helps to make lists of reasons to go and reasons to stay and compare the two. Try to be more objective than emotional. I'm with you on this one and thinking of you. It's tough, but I'm sure you'll make the right decision and whichever way you decide to go, I hope it works out - only if you decide to go to NZ though.  Sterkte.

[soniag]

Thanks Hopeful!! What you say is very true.  And even though we have not considered a LSD trip before, its becoming more of a possibility!  We are still in the process of waiting for our house to be sold.  OH says whether we go or not the house stays on sale, cause if things get progressively worse here we have the money to get on a plane and leave here.  That gives us time too, to rent and save some money as that is much cheaper than paying a bond (as you all will know  )
So yes i've now made peace that evertying about immigration will not be "nice" and will certainly not "feel" nice.  The list thing works like that....there are enought reasons to stay and enough to go.  It boils down on what we want to do. 
I think in the end we will end up in NZ.  I just dont think I was prepared for the whole emotional "flare up" as i'm not prone to drama, and like to keep my cool.  I've enough ppl in my family that will fill in the "drama" part for me....

LOL my stepmom says she's going to punction the airoplanes wheels lol lol   it was all said in good humor though...shame...they really love the kids, and i'm so sad for taking this away from them and from the kids.

I think the part that "upsets" me the most is the fact that I feel forced to leave because of the situation in our country, and I think most of you (not you jaffa...we know you dont like SA) can relate to that feeling.
On the other hand I've always wanted to go and live in another country for the exitement and experience of it all.

I'm just so glad, that because of all your replies I know know I'm not loosing it, but are very norml in what i'm going through and feeling regarding all of this.

So i'm taking heart that im not alone...