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Author Topic: " Aupair The Kiwi Connection" - Inappropriate comments about South-Africans  (Read 4307 times)

Offline Wil net se...

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It is with great sadness and disappointment that I write this e-mail this morning.  :'(
My 5 year old daughter will go to school and August and we are looking for an Au-pair to assist and collect my girls from school.
I submit an online -application ( I have a copy of the application ) to a Au-pair agency in New Zealand called  " Aupair The Kiwi Connection"
I was very excited when we received a CV from the agency, for a wonderful German girl. I have been an Aupair myself and is looking forward to learn more about other cultures and people experiences and to add another member to our family.  :)I went through her application and found that she had the adequate amount of experience , :) I did how ever noted that he reason for choosing New Zealand was that she is looking for the typical New Zealand way of life I was very pleased with her application. I received and e-mail from :
From: Kiwiaupair <deleted>
Date: 2009/5/1
Subject: aupair for your family6
 Noting the following  in their e-mail: Please view her CV information and if you feel she is suitable please advise us and we will contact the applicant and her agent that you will be communicating with her as soon as possible.
This morning I received a call from the " Aupair The Kiwi Connection"
The call went as follows:
She wanted to know if I have been in contact with the applicant I advise her not yet, as I was hoping to ask her (Mr/Mrs x) some questions. 
She stated that I need to contact the applicant and communicate with her to get to know her better. (Contradicting  to her e-mail to me on the 01/05/2009 with stated that I need to let them know first)  :confused:
I asked if we can view more CV's, this is where she got upset with me  :tickedoff: and told me this is not how things are done in New Zealand and I only get one application. I explained to her that I just want to be a 100% sure about an applicant  before I contact her.
I did advise her that she would note from applicants application that she is looking for a typical new Zealand way of life and I'm just a bit concern that she might not experience it with our family yet as we ourselves are still settling into the typical New Zealand way of life  :blush:. But that I would be happy to be in contact with her to get to know her better.
Then Mr/Mrs x really got of the subject and saying that " This is a problem she has with ALL South-African families  :tickedoff:"  We are to difficult for her to deal with  :tickedoff:. I said to her that I'm not exactly sure what she means by that statement. I told her that I have previously employed  nannies  and would just like to  have the opportunity to view more than one application before I make a decision.  :blush:
She then said I must know that they don't recruit any aupairs from Africa  :confused:, I said to her that she would note from my application that I have no preference ,as from which country, or ethnic  group our aupair  would comes from I think my exact words were " She can come from Germany, Sweden or any European country  I honestly don't mind"
She then asked me if I'm white ?  :help: I asked her, that if I was not if it would be a concern for her. She said that she wants to know, as South-Africans have been known to have racial issues.  :idiot2:
I asked her why she would make that comment ? She said she just wants me to know that it is important for the aupair to feel safe and be in a trusting environment.
I said I understand that, but what does it have to do whether I'm white or that I'm South-African,  :confused: she said she dealt with allot of South-African families and we all the same.  :tongue:
I said to her I'm sorry she feels that way, but I would prefer that she does not make assumptions about me, based on her past experiences.  :thumbdown:
She then asked me if I'm "Pro-white" ( I may be speaking under correction) but this is what I heard.
I said to her I'm not "pro-anything" I'm open to any ethnic group, not sure why she is "attacking" me in this manner.  :tickedoff:
I advise her that I do not appreciate her speaking to me in this condescending manner.  :help:
She said that New Zealand have no racial problems and that she just want me to know that, as they are a multi-cultural country.
I said to her that I do know this, but due to  the manner I have been treated and assumptions she made about me  >:( and not once during the conversation she asked me about my family or my girls, I would not be using her service .
I hope that she treats other people better than what she treated me and would like to caution anyone who wish to use this agency.  :envy:
This is just my own experience with  the " Aupair The Kiwi Connection" and I truly hope that this is not the way she treats families who wish to employ an aupair through the agency .
After our call this morning this was the e-mail she sent me :
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kiwiaupair <deleted>
Date: 2009/5/5
Subject: cancellation
Emmerentia  I am so pleased to have had the chance to speak with you today.
 I am pleased to withdraw your family application.   :crazy2:
 I have notified our agent and N.... of the cancellation.
 Maybe you will settle in well with our multicultural people
and could become a good kiwi family.
 GOOD LUCK ( In caps she says )   :(
« Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 11:42:51 am by Emmerentia »

Offline Saturn_Moon

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Holy cow Emmerentia, sorry you had to go through that.  :o I honestly hate it when people generalise like that and judge you so quickly just because of a bad experience they had.

Will we ever get away of being 'accused' of being racist - I'm so sick of it!

I really hope you can find another agency soon and receive better treatment.


SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Offline Hill

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WOW, what an ordeal. You certainly meet all types here.

I have met some really racist people here, some not so racist, most middle of the ground and some that are so far left (anti racist) that you cannot speak to them. They seem to have made up their minds years ago watching TV propaganda/sensationalism. This lady definitely seems to fit into the latter.

I really wonder how much experience she has had with South Africans.

I hope you come right with another agency.

By the way how does the au pair system work? Is it costly?


Offline magusta

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hmmm....well, methinks you'll get that often. keep in mind that some nz'ers haven't travelled beyond their town of birth, nevermind globally. those that have, left for uk/aus/us/wherever. i fear a shortsitedness in many respects, just shrug it off. she obviously has problems.

Offline Awa

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This is probably one of the most unprofessional conducts I have ever heard of.   I must say personally I would find it hard to leave it at that.   There must be some code of conduct aupair association that this woman could be reported to!   In a country that is so PC this type of behaviour is outrages.   And that follow-up email of hers is the most childish thing ever!  I can only imagine how you must have struggled to keep you temper in tact during that phone conversation.    Whoever heard of only having ONE applicant for something as important as your childrens minder!    I also find it amazing how everyone in the world are constantly pointing fingers at us Saffers when their own countries' racial past is anything but perfect.   Go figure.   
Arrive in NZ in August 2008
WP received October 2008
EOI submitted April 2010
ITA received April 2010
PR Application Submitted 07 July 2010
PR Approved 18 February 2011

Offline Wil net se...

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I tried and search to see if there is anything I could do, I wanted to give feedback on their websit: regarding the matter  :thumbdown:, but there are no option on the website to give feedback, which lead me to only one conclusion :whistle: they might get more complaints than compliments  :'( and I’m not the only one that received this treatment from this agency.  :'(

“Mr/Mrs X a well experienced Owner/Operator provides to both families and candidates a professional and excellent service.”  Yet she doesn’t allow anyone to give feedback on her website.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 11:03:04 am by ANTONK »

Offline Wil net se...

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Hi Hill, it is not that expensive at all, but there is allot more to consider that just the budget... :1hug:

I found this agency to be very helpful I told her what happened and she is just as shocked as I am.  :clap:

Submit your application online her name is Birte Feldmann. :gl:
My impression is that she is very professional and I hope she can found us a new family member, have a look at the website.

e-mail:  :smitten:

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Offline Werner

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I agree with Jackie.  This sort of behaviour just makes me  :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :censored: :cursing: :furious:
Job Offer Rec 17/11/08
EOI Selected 19/11/08
ITA Rec 13/12/08
ITA Submitted 06/01/09
PR Granted 05/03/09

Offline Feather

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I will just keep my  :-X  Your situation makes me so very  :tickedoff: for you!  Can you not contact the owner of the business, or the girls manager and talk to them about what happened?

I had a strange experience in England back in 1994 when I was over on my OE.  I worked as a Live-in-General Assistant for a Country House Hotel.  While tending the bar one night I had a funny customer.  An Indian Lecturer from the Portsmouth Uni.  He asked where I was from, so knowing that the British can't tell the difference between, Aussie, NZ and SA, I decided to asking if he could guess.  No surprises he got it wrong.  When I told him that I was from SA he walked to the other side of the pub far enough away that I could see him but not talk to him.  Another customer, one of the 'regulars', laughed.  I asked him what can I say to that!  The lecturer thought that I was racist, didn't even ask.  First I wanted to  :'( then I realised that that wouldn't solve any thing, all I could do was  :2funny: at the situation.

I hope that you can find an Au pair for your family soon!

Offline Wil net se...

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Help I have no idea how to handle this situation  :help: :help:

I thought that it was important for me to let the agency know that I felt insulted since I could not give feedback on the website.

This is the e-mail I got back, her reference she made to Botswana ... one of the questions she asked me if I ever employed anyone outside my culture, I said to yes a lady from Botswana.
Clearly an indication that she didn’t pay any attention.

My husband wants me to ignore this and let it go, I have done nothing wrong and don’t know why I deserved to be treated like this.  :'(

Somehow if you read he comments below, she thinks that it is ok to treat me like apology..

---------- Forwarded message ---------- 
Date: 2009/5/5
Subject: Fwd: cancellation
To: [deleted]

Mr/Mrs x

I'm not pleased at all in the manner that I was spoken to this morning
and the insulting comments that you made about me, my family and my

I will escalate the matter.


---------- Forwarded message ---------- 
From:  <deleted>
Date: 2009/5/6
Subject: RE: cancellation
To: Mentia Geldenhuys <deleted>

I am not pleased either with your communication for a new immigrant
I will not be associated with Botswana culture

« Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 10:56:20 am by ANTONK »

Offline mandyh

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I could seriously have a good time with this woman.
She's totally ignorant if she doesn't know that Botswana and South Africa are no where near the same...........

Offline Saturn_Moon

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Wow, what a cow!

Seriously, like others have said, she had got issues and is very ignorant. Makes me think of certain Americans who believe SA'ns have lions running in the streets and that SA is somewhere in Texas.  (please note, not all American's just some we came across).

I am sorry how this is panning out Emmerentia but don't waste your time on her or 'her' firm - she is not worth the time of day.

I know you must be hurting but you are gonna need to find a way to let go - it might not be personal - just directed at SA'ns / Botswana people  ;)

Take care

« Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 11:44:16 am by Saturn_Moon »

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Offline Mumtaz (CapetonianInWellington)

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This is  :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

Offline SusanJ

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OMG!!! Is this person for real???
What a totally disgusting and moronic person!!
I find it incredibly funny that she's lecturing you about NZ and insinuating that there is no racism there! Lets think about what they've done to the Maori culture over the last few centuries, including basically having them sign away their rights to govern themselves? Hmmm....Perhaps she failed her primary school history and needs a refresher course...

My honest opinion with somebody that stupid is either to take legal action for libel or just to laught at her. The former would be so wonderfully vindictive, but alas, the latter is the cheaper option!
07/10/2009: EOI Submitted (TICK)
08/10/2009: EOI selected from pool (TICK!)
19/11/2009: ITA received (TICK!)
25/11/2009: ITA submitted (TICK!)
20/05/2010: PR granted (after waiting 2 months for a police clearance!)
27/05/2010: Passports submitted
02/06/2010: Passports returned - YAY!!!!!

Offline Anna007

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Hi Em,

Wa loop ek jou nou raak...?

Sorry to hear about the :eek: with the Au Pair women.

Not EVERYONE here is like that - my opinion - but some are unfortunately.

Hope you have better luck with aupair4kiwikids  :gl:

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for"