Not really sure if this is the right area to post this, but you can all shoot me down if it is the wrong one. I am trying very hard to put this in the nicest possible way. As Saffers, we (I seriously include myself here) are quite arrogant and have come from a very stressful, dishonest, aggressive and unpleasant environment. I kmow I use arrogance as a defence mechanism, until I get to know the person. My wife and I have worked incredibly hard to make the new life here, as have virtually every other Saffer in NZ. It is a hard, uphill slog. The murder of the English girl and subsequent jailing of the 16 yr old SA boy, and a few other things along the way, haven't endeared us to our hosts lately. Kiwis don't owe us a single thing, rather the reverse, Im sure, would apply. I have worked myself up to chairman of the board of a chamber of commerce, become house friends with politicians and mayors etc. The reason I have stated this, is that it is becoming very embarrassing for me lately, as no less than 4 times in the last 4 months, I have been asked advice by business people, and again today, on how to handle situations. Saffers being extremely arrogant, rude and outright obnoxious to businesses, including a major retailer (Oz based - no names), 2 small businesses in a city centre plus a government department. The agression, arrogance and rudeness are regularly raised. Please, please, we are visitors here. We all suffer nasty nightmares of where we come from. Kiwis cannot understand (nor do they need or want to) or empathise with us, but they certainly do not desreve our contempt, arrogance, rudeness anger, aggression etc. They did not do the hurting, they are the remedy and the healing that is taking place. Please, I ask you to reserve your nastiness left over from SA. But I am probably talking to the converted and aware here, so I beg you to speak to other Saffers and beg them not to do this. I don't enjoy having to defend or deflect such comments about my own people, to those who are not the cause but the very solution and cure to our ills.
The Dalai Lama has a wonderful saying that I have repeated many times, and I ask you to take to heart here, when dealing with our kind, honourable and honest Kiwi hosts - "man's reason for life is to help his fellow man, but if you cannot help or uplift him, I beg you.. please don't hurt him". I don't want to dwell on this too much, but would appreciate it if you find yourself guilty of these, please stop, if you see other Saffers, please correct them nicely, if you know saffers that do, ask them to stop. These people (Kiwis) have opened their homeland to us 'refugees'. Let us not abuse that unselfish kindness they have shown, for the current or future saffers in need of safer and happier lives, Please.
