Advice and Support for South Africans Immigrating to New Zealand

South Africans Going To New Zealand

Author Topic: A Change in Mindset  (Read 20044 times)

Offline cyclewife

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2010, 10:03:49 pm »
Very good perspective from "An Early Immigrant".....
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Offline robcraignz

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2010, 10:47:17 pm »
"An early immigrant.....", thank you very much for your contribution. it does show new perspective and one I hadn't considered regarding the source of SA 'aggressive / arrogant' behaviour. It is that behaviour I have been encountering quite often and dislike, especially the way we conduct ourselves in Their(NZ) country. I do understand the problems facing SA's trying to leave, but cannot condone ill behaviour and the expectation that others (NZ or OZ or other) should be responsible for the solution to our problems. Best stop there, don't want to incite the inflaming arguments previously posted on this topic. Many thanks for your time and incite, many a word needs understanding and acceptance into our lives, especially for integration into a new life, and not as you say: "are more determined to retain their culture and want to uplift what they had and just put it down in another place."  O0 :twothumbs: :not_worthy: :not_worthy:

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2010, 10:47:17 pm »

Offline Clarikdeens

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2010, 11:47:27 pm »
This is an excellent post that we should constantly come back to time and time again. It should be read again and again just to keep reminding ourselves why we are here and how to conduct ourselves in our host country. It is a privilege to be here and not a right.
Common decency and good manners behoves us to act accordingly.



Offline SaKiwiBoer

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2010, 01:42:59 am »
  :not_worthy:   :not_worthy:
  :clap:   :clap:   :clap: Thank you for your post. Very informative and incite full. Thanx. SAKB.
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"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." (Benjamin Franklin)

Offline MickeyD

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2010, 04:52:54 am »
An excellent post by An Early Immigrant!!!  :not_worthy:

Nolan, we could make this post a "Sticky Topic", so that all may be able to find it and read it again, and again, and again ....
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."



Offline frodo/maya

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2010, 04:04:39 pm »
Excellent post !!!! :not_worthy: makes one think.



Offline MetalFaerie

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2010, 09:54:30 am »
So true

Nolan

Absolutely LOVE your post.

So true.  I remember being on holiday in Oz (in late 96 over new year early 97), came home to find that the driving on the roads made me nervous and uneasy (got all to used to it again quickly) and was surpised by how untidy Jozi looked.  It must be 10 times worse now because people say Edenvale (CBD) has deteriorated in the last few years.

But there is something different (and magical) about South Africa that just can't be found anywhere else and you're probably missing things you never thought that you would.

For instance, even though I struiggle to get myself to the gym, I actually enjoy Zumba (latin/hip hop dancing) once I get there.  I probably won't go to gym in NZ but can instead enjoy the freedom of safe walking and bicycle riding that I can't do here, which is why I joined the gym in the first place.

South Africans have a unique sense of humour that is not PC, we can laugh at ourselves and each other.  Seems NZ'ers have sense of humour failure or are just too PC, but that is a generalisation and I have met at least one true blue NZ'er who was very funny.  (he lived in Sydney)

And thanks to Early immigrant.

My uncle left Zimbabwe for Aust in 1989, with three kids under 5, having never been on a look see.  He said SA would head the same way as Zim and did not want to come down South.

My stepdad's parents and two sisters left Zim for Sydney back in 81.  Funny how my step aunt has worked hard to keep her Rhodie accent. (similar to Capetonian accent)  However all the cousins have true blue accents.  Especially my uncle who settled in Adelaide first and is now in Brisbane, couldn't understand what the kids were saying in 96.

My widowed moved us down here in 82.

These are the pioneers...

I'm rambling again...

The point is there is nowhere in the world like South Africa and even if the weather is similar and the people are similar, nothing will be exactly the same.

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2010, 09:54:30 am »

Offline SaKiwiBoer

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2010, 08:48:07 pm »
MetalFaerie - You're right. No place can be the same as SA, not even SA  ::) .
The country that we all grew up in in the 60's, 70's or even 80's are long gone, never to return again. The next best thing is to go and search for your own happiness where ever you want it. I am sure the guys on the SI gets their own piece of SA happiness. The guys on the NI gets theirs and even the guys that have gone to Auzzie, gets theirs. It doesn't matter where you go, you just need to find happiness in yourself and in your surroundings then you'll be in your own "little piece of SA happiness". Cheers, SAKB.
21/03/2007-EOI submitted
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"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." (Benjamin Franklin)

Offline maanhaarleeu

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #23 on: June 06, 2010, 02:46:07 am »
Nolan, that is a post I hope all potential migrants read and digest.  :smart: Thanks for posting it.
Auckland NZ, Howick

Offline robcraignz

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #24 on: June 08, 2010, 10:19:53 pm »
Yes, Nolan, maybe a must read for anyone arriving on this forum for the fosrt time. That is a real eye opener and gives a brilliant overview of situation and expectations. O0 O0 O0

Offline Tui

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #25 on: June 17, 2010, 03:26:39 pm »
Hi Nolan! As a newbie on the forum - I found that post......amazing, refreshing and witty, just great!

Now we, the Kiwiwannabe family have to get our butts on the next plane to NZ like......YESTERDAY!!



 
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Offline Nolan

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2010, 11:16:46 pm »
so what you waiting for  :whistle:

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2010, 11:16:46 pm »

Offline Savayla

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #27 on: June 19, 2010, 01:26:38 am »
Nolan, this arrogance of South Africans is something that I am battling with.  I am an ex Rhodie, ex Natalian, ex Cape Tonian.  Basically an english speaking  pavement special !!!  :2funny: :2funny:

I have read the posts about arrogant and rude attitudes from SAffers.  The first time I came across it though, was a shocker.  At a flea market, looking at knives, and this Kiwi told us straight that he did not like the South Africans with the accents.  And although we were standing right there, he belaboured the point.  I told him, quite politely, that I could not understand this.  Because, unless I am wrong here, the Afrikaans people that I know in SA, are the most polite, most  dignified people.  They are old school in terms of manners, are conservative and usually church going.  It does not sound right !!  But, he insisted. 

It has come up again, this time from a Dutch immigrant.  He says that he has to be careful what he says around the Kiwis as often it is construed the wrong way.  He has been here for 10 years !!  And he is a very quiet, nice, well mannered guy too.  It has got me thinking and what I have come up with , in my opinion of course, is that we Saffers, and more so the Afrikaaners, call a spade a spade, don't beat around the bush, and we are used to giving orders.  The kiwis, like to beat around the bush, will not tell you if you have offended them, preferring to keep it quiet to you, but not others.  You have heard them say "You might like to put that on the table "  Where we would say "Please put that on the table "  We have told them what to do, they have given us the choice.

They are very sensitive to humanity issues and class issues, and often we come across as being too forward and bullish.  This is the South African nature though.  We are much tougher and less cocooned than them.  We have been exposed to real, hard life in terms of all the violence that occurs in africa. 

Just my two cents.  Yes, I do think across all scopes you will find  some arrogant people, and they should think before they open their mouths.  But, for the rest of us, I think we are just misunderstood. 

Apart from the episode at the market though, the Kiwis I have met have been amazing and very helpful and friendly towards us.  But, we are not coming from a city, or office experience, but from the country, and maybe it is different there. 

Good post Nolan.  Very interesting reading about the early immigrant. 

Offline MetalFaerie

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #28 on: June 21, 2010, 11:48:11 am »
HI Savayla

I guess I am also an English speaking pavement special - ha ha.

I think I understand about the Afrikaners. (Saffers with Accents to the Kiwis).

I don't think they mean to - but they come across as looking down on you, if you are of a different culture to their own.

That is probably what is misconstrued.

As an English speaking person, I still come across Afrikaners who refuse to speak English and will always reply in Afrikaans, as they assume that all white people speak the language.
It does not and should not get any higher status than any of the other 11 official languages, so sticking to the International language of English just make sense.

I think this mentality is carried overseas where it's a case of 'accept us or else' and you forget that this is their country.

It's a critisism (arrogance) that I've heard from Oz too.

I think the only way to be truly happy is to fully integrate and become a kiwi, adopt  the accent ASAP, leave behind Afrikaans and SA culture.

Otherwise, you will be like the "whenwe's" of Rhodesia and 30 years later still be known as a 'whenwe'.

I was born there and I don't get how people still celebrate Rhodesian independence etc., We're South African now, accept it.

It will be the same in NZ.
We will be All Black supporters - ha ha!

Just like Charlize had to Americanize her accent in the States, we will have to "kiwinize" ours in NZ.

Can't wait mate!

Offline addywads

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Re: A Change in Mindset
« Reply #29 on: June 21, 2010, 12:14:44 pm »
My colleagues had a peek into my lunchbox today and said "Oh what have you got for smoko?"  Oh this and that and my naartjie, I said.  Thats a mandarin, they told me.  I said that I had called it a naartjie for 49 years so it would always be a naartjie to me so they laughed and  told me I was a Kiwi now and its a mandarin!  They WANT you to change and if it makes  it easier to be understood, then why fight it?  We are still South Africans at home and with our SA friends but we adapt when at work or with our Kiwi friends. 
Life is too short for regrets.