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Author Topic: Girlfriend wants to stay  (Read 849 times)

Offline zatexnz

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Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #15 on: October 27, 2010, 10:42:42 AM »
As much as that was very hard for you, I know, I think you're making the right choice to follow your dream of coming to NZ.  As I said previously, sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder OR It will help to sort out the feelings and who knows, maybe God has somebody else for you on this end! 
I don't think moving in together without the commitment of marriage would be the answer.  It would not change the issue of immigration.

All the best Gert! 
lekker sweet as, y'all
~ Colleen

Offline SaKiwiBoer

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Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2010, 06:54:56 PM »
Gert, ek se' altyd:"Man live by choice only". En die is 'n besluit wat net jy kan maak. Voorspoed op die pad voorentoe en ons sal later sien of dit 'n goeie besluit was om alleen NZ toe te kom, en of dit 'n bad besluit was...  ::) om haar daar agter te laat, or we might never know...  :whistle:
Maar sterkte met jou besluit.
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"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." (Benjamin Franklin)

SA Going to NZ Advice Forum

Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2010, 06:54:56 PM »

Offline Savayla

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Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2010, 09:05:58 PM »
Gert, if I can be a Dr. Phil here.   >:D  To me it sounds like she is not as committed to this relationship as you.  It seems like you are doing all the dancing here.  True love is strong, and must be both ways.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder, if it is true love.  You may end up messing your life up, staying in SA for 2 years, and then the relationship does not work, and you are found without love or a new country. 

Perhaps make plans to make the move.  You can always apply from here, go through the whole process, and work on her on the way. 

Please dont' shoot the messenger  :D

Offline ryanrich

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Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #18 on: November 24, 2010, 11:04:56 AM »
Eish, I was in the same situation. In 2007 me and my then fiancee decided to move to NZ. I went over first in 2008 and secured a job and WP easily enough, and PR was processing and she was preparing to come over, when she decided she doesn't want to anymore and will never want to leave SA. Not only that but I couldn't even speak about emigrating or NZ again because it's simply out of the question. Even though she agreed it was best for the future, she didn't want to ever leave SA or her family and parents.

To me that's not a relationship anymore, because there is no compromise or taking the other persons reasoning into consideration. I'm not saying that's the situation in your case, but it was in mine. Giving someone a point blank ultimatum between doing what they want and say or buggering off isn't on in my books. I was willing to compromise, maybe a LSD visit for her or move and see how it goes for a year, but no was the answer.

At the end of the day you have to decide what's more important to you, because if she makes you insanely happy then staying wherever wouldn't really matter, but if your reasons for wanting to move to NZ are as strong as mine then nothing will stop you...

I agree with Savayla's first paragraph, and SaKiwiBoer's comments, as usual... :)

Offline groenlemoen

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Re: Girlfriend wants to stay
« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2010, 02:38:29 AM »
Have to agree with what others have said. Both of you need to be in this together 150% otherwise it will not work.

I think you need to decide which is more important to you. Your girlfriend/and her son. Or emigrating? Its a tough one. Good luck.

PS: NZ women are not exactly eye candy. I always tell the single lads I know that they should find a wife in SA first before coming over. Something to keep in mind LOL.

 

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