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South Africans Going To New Zealand

Author Topic: So what did you....  (Read 2400 times)

Offline goodgirl

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So what did you....
« on: August 25, 2011, 08:04:25 pm »
So the Hubster and I are starting to make some serious plans about our one way trip to NZ; we are faced with two options.  The first being, that we travel together, arrive, find jobs and settle.  The second option being that he leaves to NZ a month ahead of me, hopefully finds a job, and then I join him.

Were you faced with this kind of decision, what did you do, and whats your advice on leaving to/arriving in NZ separately?

 :1hug:

Offline Dieds

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2011, 08:23:28 pm »
I know a lot of people have done it in the way where one comes first and then the rest joins. We all came together as my husband wasn't prepared to leave me and the boys alone in SA. It does however put a bigger financial burden on you the more people you are before landing jobs. My personal opinion is that if you can sustain both financially for a reasonable amount of time I would suggest to start the journey together.

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2011, 08:23:28 pm »

Offline Savayla

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2011, 08:52:42 pm »
We came over as a whole family.  It does put more financial burden on you.  I guess it all depends how quick you think you will get jobs ?  I think it would be very lonely for the husband . 

Offline SA3001

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2011, 09:52:10 pm »
We were faced with the same dilemma and decided to come together, mainly because OH was stressed about me being left on my own with the kids and because our DD was only 3, it would have been very hard on her had it stretched on for months.  Also, with both of us looking for jobs we felt it doubled our chances.  Both options have their pros and cons.   :gl2:

Offline Tui

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2011, 10:32:52 pm »
My 2 cents worth - we did the 2 stay and 2 go......from SA to OZ, my husband and son came over, organized rental, bought car and organized schools.......when DD and I arrived 6 weeks later - we simply walked into our home and slept..... :clap: The poor men did all the work and us ladies had a breeze....husband said it was a lot less stressful - from OZ to NZ we all came over - BUT....we were very clever this time, by organizing a car online that was waiting for us at the airport AND we had organized a fully furnished rental - so it was no stress at all.

So, I am with the man/men coming over first and getting all the nitty gritty outa the way first! ;D Sorry guys, that sounded very harsh.


x
~ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened~

Offline mandyh

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2011, 11:24:50 pm »
we came over as a family and wouldn't do it any other way.

We have had quite a few guys stay with us when they first come over without their family and seeing what they go through only makes me wonder if it was really all worth it.  They missed their families a lot and found it really hard emotionally. Especially if you are used to making decisions together.

Although coming over as a family can cost you more financially, emotionally it is a lot easier.  Also depends on what type of a family you are. 

Every family is different in their needs so only you can make that final choice.

Offline Tui

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2011, 12:01:06 am »
I agree with you mandyh, regarding the financial side of it.....if my DD and I had come with the men, we did not know a soul in OZ at that stage and they were staying in backpacking hostels - now, for men that is okay, as they were out at first light hunting for rental, vehicle etc.....what would us girls have done the whole day hopping on trains, buses or stuck in a back packing hostel or a B&B which is VERY costly. So from a $$$ point of view - it is wise.....and if you are parents of younger kids/babies....it is hell doing this when your kids are small. We have been there done that with a 5 year old and a new born......never again!

You have the rest of your lives as a family to enjoy your new Country together.  I personally think it is harder emotionally doing it with a family, as stress levels are high as to who wants what.....and the average LSD for a partner coming over is what....2-6/8 weeks, so not a heart breaking situation at all. If anything..........less stress!


x
~ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened~

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2011, 12:01:06 am »

Offline thombatt

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2011, 01:23:56 am »
Wedid it a third way, but acknowledge that our circumstances were entirely different, as I already had a role in NZ.

DW and myself came over first. Our son stayed with his Uncle and Aunt in RSA to complete his matric and joined us later.

Offline Tui

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2011, 02:31:20 am »
Wedid it a third way, but acknowledge that our circumstances were entirely different, as I already had a role in NZ.

DW and myself came over first. Our son stayed with his Uncle and Aunt in RSA to complete his matric and joined us later.


Very wise and logical! O0


x
~ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened~

Offline SA3001

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2011, 04:50:26 am »
Very well said rockhopper - couldn't have put it better myself  O0

Offline mandyh

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2011, 06:12:45 am »
Well said - I agree fully.  We would never have dreamed of coming over here seperately. 

We shared the good things, commiserated over the bad and stressed out all together....

Offline Chan in Wellington

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2011, 06:51:28 am »
I agree with Rockhopper, I wish we could all go over as a family, but my OH has to start his job asap, so he is going over before us and we'll follow at the end of the school year in December.  On a positive note, we are sending our stuff over before he leaves, so it should arrive shortly after he does and he'll set up home before we get there.  That's about the only positive thing I can think of  :'(
'The only difference between a rut and a grave, is the depth'.

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2011, 06:51:28 am »

Offline Tui

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2011, 07:10:35 am »
I agree with Rockhopper, I wish we could all go over as a family, but my OH has to start his job asap, so he is going over before us and we'll follow at the end of the school year in December.  On a positive note, we are sending our stuff over before he leaves, so it should arrive shortly after he does and he'll set up home before we get there.  That's about the only positive thing I can think of  :'(


Ai, 'tis a bitter/sweet thing to go through Chan - chin up - time goes by so fast..........before you know it, you will be on your way! :1hug:


x
~ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened~

Offline frodo/maya

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2011, 04:31:06 am »
We also came over as a team. We are glued at the hip and the one cannot clearly think without the other!  ;D ;D

It was nice to have a chat and to make decisions as to what our next over would be, it brought us as a family closer together.

Offline Tui

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Re: So what did you....
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2011, 04:59:50 am »
We also came over as a team. We are glued at the hip and the one cannot clearly think without the other!  ;D ;D

It was nice to have a chat and to make decisions as to what our next over would be, it brought us as a family closer together.


Fantastic! We did it both ways, and yes, there is more of an adventure feel to doing it all together - when we all arrived in NZ, knowing our beloved dog was waiting for us here in Tauranga it was just stunning! Fair enough, all details were done from OZ side - BUT SA to OZ - after not seeing my man for 4 weeks (sorry earlier post I said 6 weeks) it was the most romantic thing ever  as he had sorted everything out, and I arrived refreshed.....hmmm, it was the best meet up we have had in 20 years of being together........lol! We had a second honeymoon, if you know what I mean..... ;) lol!

x
~ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened~