I wake up in the morning to the little peeps and babble of my 1 year old daughter. Immediately I am elated and excited to see her. She doesn’t know that when I get up, the first thing I look at is the alarm keypad to see if any of the zones on the other side of the house are flashing.
I go to her room which is adjoining ours, and am greeted buy the most beautiful squeals of joy and a big wide smile. When she smiles, her whole face gets involved. From her eyes to her forehead to her cheeks, they are all in unison with her happiness. She doesn’t know that as I am unlocking the door which separates our rooms from the rest of the house (In case we are robbed; In order to prevent them coming into the bedrooms), I am listening for our huge Boerboel to make sure he is not alarmed or that he is still alive and has not been poisoned.
As my beautiful daughter drinks her bottle and looks up at me I think to myself, ‘she doesn’t know’.
She doesn’t know that every door on the house has burglar gates and every window too.
She doesn’t know that when I leave for work, leaving her with her fantastic Nanny, that I am terrified that my house is going to be robbed during the day. I lock her and the nanny in the house as I leave after my eyes survey the carport and surrounds to ensure there is no one lurking there. I have a dread in me every day as I drive out the driveway, ever alert, that someone will come and rob my house while I am away and that they will shoot her in the head like they did to that little 2 year old boy 3 years ago for absolutely no reason. (He is alive but brain-dead)
I am afraid to leave her at home for the latter reason. I am afraid to send her to school as child abuse is rife in South Africa and out of the 11 schools I have looked at, I was not happy with one of them.
Later in the afternoon when my daughter is playing in the garden and we are laughing and having fun behind our high walls and electric fencing, she doesn’t know that the remote in my hands has on it a panic button that is connected to a state-of-the-art alarm system which will, with one push of the button, have the security company at my house in a matter of minutes, fully armed and ready to kill.
My daughter, as she babbles away, doesn’t know that there is no future for her in this country. That someone who was put on trial for corruption is now her president. That corruption is the rule and not the exception. She doesn’t know that she will not be able to make a life for herself here or do what she wants. She will have to be an executive or very well studied to make a decent living as the country is becoming one of the most expensive places in the world. That’s if we can afford the private school fees because god forbid you send your child to a government school in South Africa!
She doesn’t know that when we cant warm her milk for her its because they illegally cut off our electricity again because I refused to the contractor. And when I spend 8 hours on the phone to the municipal minister, eskom, city power, and various lawyers, no one can tell me why this sub contractor has the right to cut us off as we are R19 000 in credit. The only advice I have got is to call the police and to not be in the house alone as it seems malicious yet the contractor is contracted to city power who passes the buck like they all do. Our municipalities have squandered the money so that services are non existant. No one is heald accountable, because of course, there is just too much corruption to pin it on one, two…THOUSANDS of government official. And when they are taken to task, they can just fake an illness such as our wonderful Shabier Sheik who was convicted of corruption yet sits in a mansion in cape town and plays golf everyday. He must be one very sick man!
She doesn’t know as she stares out of the window of my car while strapped into her car seat, that those windows are lined with 300 micron smash and grab window “tint”. That the car has a tracking device. That the car is sprayed with Data Dot to deter Hi-jackers. That the sticker “BABY ON BOARD” shows a male baby as I am too afraid to advertise that she is a girl.
She doesn’t know any of these things. She is an innocent little soul who is filled with light and happiness. I need to leave before she does know. Before this country takes all of that innocence and happiness away from her. Before she asks me why she cant ride her bike in the streets or play at friends houses. Before she asks me why she cant get a job or why she was robbed or…!
Am I paranoid? Come live in SA and tell me if you think so?
So we have booked in for a few seminars this year. New Zealand (Top of the list), AUZ, Canada. We have started saving money and have a 3 year plan. (We need to be able to carry ourselves financially for at least a year in case we don’t find work.)
So sad. This, my home, once a sanctuary of beauty and possibilities has become a rotting festering pool of crime, corruption and greed.
We don’t have a choice. We will leave our love ones behind and try to at least give our children a better life. Its not about us anymore.
