Sept 2006 – Telling the family

Posted on: January 9th, 2013 by admin

Over the past few months the word has slowly started getting out about our decision to emigrate.

We had decided to keep quiet until we have a successful decision on our EOI, but you know how it goes. This whole process takes over all your thoughts and actions, so you end up dropping a hint here and there until one day you just can’t hold it in any longer.

The first to know were my sisters.  They actually took it very well – I think they realise our situation and that of the country as they have youngish kids themselves. In fact I think they may even be open to the idea of moving themselves – that would be great!

Once the ice had been broken, it became easier to tell everybody else – except our parents of course. That will never be easy.

Our friends have all taken the news quite well too. Most agree with our reasons, but say they are happy in SA, so will not be following us. Others say they would leave if they could, others say they have worked too hard to give everything up here and start again.  I must admit though that to us it seems as though many of the reasons that we hear are just excuses because everybody is in their comfort zone and don’t want to upset their apple cart? Who knows, maybe it’s just us?

We do however have one set of friends that are also emigrating. Not to New Zealand, but to Canada. When we dropped the bomb, they just started laughing and went to go fetch their hidden emigration file. They are quite a way further in their process than us, so may even be out of here before us. Now we have even more in common than before and even more reason to enjoy our ever shortening time together.

So far it has been easy to tell everybody because at some point the crime rate, etc. pops up in the conversation so we just use that as an entry point to say we are “thinking” of emigrating. Then we judge the reactions from there. If they are open we elaborate, if they are dismissive, we leave it at that.

To tell my parents we decided to go over to their house for a visit and chat to them a bit more seriously than around the braai. I told them about our feelings and concerns about the future and especially about our concerns for Candice’s future. Then told them that we are think of emigrating to New Zealand to see what the reaction would be before deciding on the next move. Surprisingly they were both so cool about it. My Dad said that he would leave in a heartbeat if he could as well. We were absolutely bowled over and so happy that we have their support. My Mom obviously says she will miss us terribly, but we have our own family now to think about.

Mel’s Mom and Gran are going to be another kettle of fish though as years ago I happened to mention that I want to emigrate to Canada and Mother-in-law promptly said “Over my dead body” and was quite upset with me after that, so have decided that Mel will do the talking this time. That way she can see that it isn’t me trying to “steal” her daughter away from her, but a decision made by both of us equally. Wish us luck

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