I had been here in the States for around 6 months, and was highly pregnant at the time (found out I was pg a week before leaving SA!), and I was alone, as Jan had a job up in Dallas, while we lived here in Austin. I needed a meal, and didn't feel like cooking for myself, and it was February, which is already dark by 8pm. I walked across a busy street to the nearby Randalls (general grocer), for a meal from their deli. It was on the way back that the realization hit me: Here I am, a vulnerable pregnant woman alone in the black of night, and I HAD NO FEAR!!! There were no loafers under the trees watching me, there was nobody acosting me outside the store for a handout. No Fear. It was the most freeing feeling in my life. I've been back to SA twice now, and each time, that underlying "have-to-be-alert-at-all-times, hold-onto-your-bag-like-a-magnet" feeling came back. I did however feel a lot more confident about life than before living in the States, and felt less fear somehow. Like I could bash anybody to pieces who even tried to touch me or my children... perhaps it's the "mother's instinct" that had kicked in, in the meantime!
